In our Coffee Chat this week we talked about relationships after surgery. We are talking about ALL relationships and not just romantic partners. We also said that these changes occur to ANYONE going through a transformation (weight loss surgery or not) so don’t just scroll past if you are non-surgery. This Coffee Chat is valuable for everyone.
When we’re experiencing our own period of personal transformation, we sometimes forget it can have implications for those we’re in a relationship with, too.
Under all circumstances, wanting to be a better person is amazing. It’s something we all strive for. We want to feel better about ourselves, healthier, more caring, and become the BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES.
But, what happens to your relationships when you make those long-sought-after changes? It should make everything better, right? Well maybe not!!
As you make the changes to transform your life, the people closest to you may not appreciate those changes. They may not be happy that you have left them behind and that makes them feel bad. They may want the “old you” to come back. They may not understand why you are making changes at all. Your transformation may be taking you away from the person they thought you were and even though you are happy about it, they may not be.
Some changes that occur during a transformation!
Unselfishness. It’s really not all about you! Relationships do not work until and unless you make it about both people. Your words and actions affect others.
Communication is KEY. Learning to listen, learning to communicate in ways your spouse/friend/sister can understand and receive, learning you’re not always right.
You are enough. You have got what it takes to go through more than you ever thought you could. You are lovable without the masks. You can do this.
You will change. Your relationships will blow up unless you agree to the transformation process. Who you are when you started the relationship (friend in high school is different than mother friend) will have to change to make this relationship work.
It is ok to let relationships go!! NOT all relationships are forever.
I have worked with clients to leave their spouses, to leave their toxic best friend and family members. You do not have to keep working on a relationship if you are not getting anything back.
I had a friend in university that was my roommate for 3 years. After school, we stayed close. We were in each other’s weddings. We had kids. Then I started to notice that all the plans were initiated by me. I sent messages. I made plans. I never cancelled. I noticed that it was not the same from her end. It wasn’t that she was mean or malice, she just had different priorities. I decided I was going to stop initiating contact. I would stop sending messages and see what happens. That was 4 years ago. It hurt. It makes me sad thinking about it BUT it was needed. Sometimes transformation means losing people.
SUPPORT is key to any transformation and while all the people in your life may not be happy about the changes, there are people who will support you 100%. We often hear, “I feel like I have no support.” The good news is we have the support you need through your entire transformation.
Our programs and support groups are here for you!!
We have also opened our FREE challenge: SHRED Your COVID19 Weight Loss Challenge, starting June 4th, early so you can get an accountability buddy and meet your entire support team!! We are here for you!! Come and join us.
To Your Success,